When Le Touessrok reopened after its £32-million refurbishment last December, the flurry of publicity it generated seemed to suggest that the clientele it was courting would be celebrated and designer-clad. This was not our experience. Our fellow guests were mostly English couples celebrating early retirement or exhausted by the fractious pre-school children they had in tow. The dress code was far more Boden catalogue than Gucci.
For all its aspirations and innovations, Le Touessrok can seem hilariously
misconceived. For a start, a gong is sounded when you arrive. Then there is
the 'fabled butler service', which amounts to little more than employing men as chambermaids, letting them be known by their names and requiring them to trace giant hearts in bougainvillaea on your bed. The separate pour madame and pour monsieur bathroom layout is a good idea, except that in our case madame got the shaver point along with the padded satin coat hangers and girly Molton Brown potions, and monsieur got the full-length mirror along with the macho Sport Wash.
Dinner is another uninspiring all-nations buffet, at which séga (the traditional Mauritian music born of slavery) musicians and dancers gyrate among the tables. (We fled back to our rooms with our unfinished wine and a DVD.) And there are endless organised activities: cookery demonstrations, fashion shows and stretch classes for the mums; football and pétanque for the dads; and lots of supervised fun and games for the kiddies.
But there is a stylish side to it. You can't really argue with the idea of a
hotel strung out over a little archipelago, with two further islands - the public
Ile aux Cerfs (for water sports and, soon, golf) and the private Ilot Mangénie
(for seclusion) - accessible by boat. And the new junior suites are sensational:
stylish, innovative, comfortable and ingeniously lit. The fibreoptic bedside lights mean if only one of you wants to read, the other won't be disturbed. There are also unexpected but attractive touches: a pashmina for when it turns chilly; an espresso-maker (which makes rather better coffee than is served at breakfast); a Playstation in case you get caught in a cyclone and confined to your room, as we did; and a giant plasma- screen television. And the staff are gracious, helpful and well-meaning, even if slickness and efficiency aren't yet part of the deal.
I can't deny I was happy at Le Touessrok. The food in the smaller restaurants is much better than the buffet, even if it comes at a price. (I particularly liked Safran, 'conceived' by Vineet Bhatia of London's Michelin-starred Zaika, which specialises in outstanding Indian cooking of a very rarefied, subtle and experimental kind.) The slate-lined lap pool (from which children are banned) is a treat. And you can't dislike a place that even offers to supply you with a jogging partner, so you don't have to run alone. But a 12-hour flight seems a long way to come to stay in a hotel that, give or take a few islets, could frankly have been contrived anywhere.
CONTACT
One&Only Le Touessrok, Trou d'Eau Douce (00 230 402 7400; fax: 402 7500; www.touessrok.com). Doubles from €575 half-board
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